Poof! While navigating divorce, trust in anything or anyone often becomes scarce. It is a lonely empty feeling and women wonder what it will take to bring trust back into their lives.
The place to start is with yourself! You have to like yourself before you can have the confidence to be open to others. Perhaps you are running on empty feeling you have made some bad choices, stayed too long or were betrayed. Yes, that can deplete your self trust so be kind to yourself and understand it will take time. Remember those warm feelings of sharing your thoughts and dreams with someone and holding theirs close in return.
Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, is an encouraging starting point and provides a road map to begin the healing process. Her acronym is Braving and encourages a re connection of trust through confidence, self-awareness and integrity.
B Boundaries are the foundation of trust and knowing how to set and respect them for yourself and others is key.
R Reliability provides comfort that when someone says they will do something you have the belief they will. This holds true for your actions also, and provides an emotional safety net which instills confidence.
A Accountability brings comfort that you and the other person will accept responsibility for your actions. If you make a mistake, own up and so will they.
V Vault- Your feelings and experiences are locked away and safe with those you share them with. If you overhear someone gossiping, that person is likely someone to avoid.
I Integrity is essential to building trust. You cannot have a relationship without honesty.
N Non Judgment- What a safe place to know that you will be met without judgement when you share your inner feelings or make a misstep, as we all do.
G Generosity- This might be a bit more of a challenge as you learn to accept your own short comings as well as those of the other person. Get comfortable with giving each other the benefit of the doubt.
Having a close or even intimate bond with someone is an experience that will return. To build your self-confidence in achieving trust, take small steps regardless of the connection you may feel. As you move forward with new relationships, you’ll find your feelings of trust return and with them a new energy for your post divorce life!